Street wise Aladdin Twankey is bored of Old Peking Town and sets off to see the Princess Jasmine, the most beautiful girl in the world. But, everybody knows, if Jasmine’s demanding mother finds out, she will send her useless Police force after whoever sets eyes on her daughter.  The evil Abanazar has other plans for Aladdin, because he needs him to find the Magic Lamp in the cave above Peking.

With a fantastic scene in Twankey’s laundry as Widow Twankey and Wishee Washee try to complete the wash, and the dampest Genie known to man, this fast paced, gag-packed panto, is sure to make you laugh.


4F 6M 2M/F plus chorus and dancers


ALADDIN                          Hero, Son of Widow Twankey        F (M)

PRINCESS JASMINE          Principal Girl                                 F

THE EMPEROR OF CHINA Meek mannered Emperor              M

THE EMPRESS OF CHINA   Demanding Empress                    F

WIDOW TWANKEY            Panto Dame, Laundry owner        M

WISHEE WASHEE              Silly son of Widow Twankey        M

ABANAZAR                       Evil Magician                               M

CHIEF OF POLICE             Rotund Police Boss                      M

PC PING                           Silly Policeman, comedy duo        M/F

PC PONG                         Silly Policeman, comedy duo        M/F

THE SPIRIT OF THE RING  Immortal spirit                             F

THE GENIE OF THE LAMP Camp immortal genie                  M

CAMEL                            Skin character (x2)                      M/F

MUMMY                          Ghost                                         M/F


OTHERS                           Various roles                              M/F

This script was packed to the brim with gags, the action moved at a rapid pace
— Kevin Proctor, NODA


TWANKEY             I say, PC Ding-Dong, I have committed a crime!

WISHEE                Mum, its not the fashion police!

PC DING-DONG    Men, arrest this woman!

PC PING and PC PONG turn around and see TWANKEY

PC PING                Arrgh, its the great whale of China!

PC PING and PC PONG grabs TWANKEY by the arms

TWANKEY             Be careful what your doing, this is no ordinary dress (like the M&S advert)

PC PONG              Oh, is it from Marks & Spencer? (admiring the dress)

TWANKEY             No, I cant afford M&S, I shop at Poundstretcher

WISHEE                Hey mum, did you know Poundstretcher and Marks and Spencers are merging

TWANKEY             Are they?

WISHEE                Yes, they’re going to be called Stretch Marks!

PC DING-DONG   Now, what is your crime madam?

TWANKEY            Nothing really, I just wanted YOU to frisk me PC Ding-Dong, (said like Leslie Philips) Come on, they say I’ve got everything a man wants

WISHEE              Yes, a hairy chest and a moustache!

TWANKEY          I say Chief-y baby, why don’t me and you hit the town?  We can go to a Peking night spot for a bit of wok-and-roll

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